The #DadFirst Guide:
The 2 Secrets You Need to Learn To Take Care Of Your Kids Dad! 🫵🏾
👋🏾Hey, Fellow Good Dads,
Life as a dad is relentless—balancing family, personal growth, household finances, and the endless responsibilities that come with being the strong arm of your household.
And if you are like us dads: You Are Probably Running On The Fumes Of The Love You Have For Your Family, and probably a few beers here and there! 🍻
We are nothing like the women in our lives; we don’t plan spa dates or brunches. We just nobly push forward taking the our lumps like a badge of honor. Like our father’s did and how theirs before them.
Sure! We know we should do a little self care and heal some of the wounds we have accrued along this fatherhood journey; but let’s get real: how often do you stop to take care of yourself?
Do you believe you are being selfish if you were to focus on taking care of yourself?
Do you not have enough time to focus on taking care of yourself?
Do you believe your household wouldn’t be supported while you took care of yourself?
Will you feel judged if you focused on taking care of yourself?
Are there more pressing areas of life than taking care of yourself?
Well, Today I’m here to implore you to focus some time on taking care of yourself; not just for yourself but your family too! Because despite popular opinion running on fumes is not efficient and taking a focused look at a few key areas of your life will add substantial amounts of fuel to your tank.
That’s why I created the #DadFirst Guide.
The #DadFirst Guide was born from a simple truth—to be the best dad for your family, you have to be a better you first.
And below I am going to give you the 4 areas YOU need to focus on today, so YOU can be the best dad YOU can be; STARTING TOMORROW!
But First Let Me Introduce Myself!
I’m Gerald ‘Mr. BPOZ’ Mayes, and I’ve suffered in silence and wore it like a badge of honor; Simply because I love my family and didn’t want to burden them with my worries. Much like how my dad did, his dad did before him, and many of the dads I’ve come in contact with over the years do now.
I’ve been with my wife Juliamarie for 20 years and married 17. Together we raised 4 children in our blended Brady Bunch household, and we are proud parents to say the least. We successfully ushered our 3 oldest children into college and the youngest is halfway through high school.
Together we have navigated the ups and downs of family life.
Personally, I have transformed from a bad dad over these 20+ years into what I would consider a Good Dad and the #1 thing I have learned is; Being A Good Dad For Your Children Starts With Being A Good Man For Yourself First!
It wasn’t always smooth sailing. Like many dads, I struggled with unresolved issues that threatened to derail my entire existence. Instead of doing the work and meeting my problems head on I self medicated with various addictions that threatened my integrity as both a husband and a father.
Frankly, I would have been divorced and not the father I had desired to be had I not decided to pause and take a few moments to take care of myself because in all honesty; I was DROWNING and taking my family down with me.
No one ever told me that I could enjoy this fatherhood journey
and my only regret is not having learned these secrets sooner so I could have been even more present in their lives and avoided some of the scars my family now has to carry.
Here Is Exactly What I Did!⬇️
Before I Tell You My Secrets: Ponder This! 💭
First things first take a look at what matters to you. And Ask yourself the following questions.
(note: the workbook has a section for you to add additional questions.)
Why are you alive?
What are your core values?
What matters the most to you?
How do you handle failure?
What are you passionate about?
Whose opinion matters most to you?
What stops you from being who you want to be?
These are just a few questions you should spend some time pondering just to get a feel for who you are. Be sure to dive as deep as you can and get to know the good, the bad, and the indifferent man us dads have inside.
Knowing this about yourself helps you make choices that line up with what’s important in your life as well as what needs to be made important.
Okay Now Let’s Get To The Good Stuff……Be Sure To Download Your Free Copy Of The #DadFirst Guide so you can follow along and do the work for yourself!
The Foundation Of Fatherhood Is YOU🫵🏾
The #DadFirst Guide focuses on 2 transformative frameworks that are designed to first build a solid foundation of health and healing; making us more resilient, reduce our stress levels, and gives us the space necessary to work on the areas that make us better Husbands, Fathers, and Men.
Secret #1: The P.M.F. Self-Care Model
- 💪🏾Physical Self Care: Taking care of your body inside and out; activity, sleep, nutrition, hygiene and longterm health maintenance.
- 🧠❤️Mental & Emotional Health: The mind is only as healthy as the brain; learning how to balance what we believe about our thoughts and feelings.
- 💰Financial Health: As a Dad I have stressed more about the ins and outs of my families finances than any other area of my family life; learning healthy financial habits and setting your family up for financial prosperity is a necessary skill.
Secret #2: The 3 R’s
- 🪞Reflect: Understand the events that shaped you and reconcile unresolved experiences for personal growth.
- 🕊️Release: Let go of the emotional weight that’s holding you back.
- 🧱Reinforce: Create and maintain boundaries that protect your well-being and keep negativity at bay.
Secret #1
P.M.F. Self-Care 🛠️
The cornerstone of the #DadFirst Guide is self-care.
And no not the spa dates and brunches that our significant others call self care but the kind that creates a strong foundation to be able to withstand the pressures of being the man of the household. It’s not just about hitting the gym or eating healthier—though those are crucial.
It’s about nurturing your physical, mental, and financial health.
Here’s a glimpse of what that looks like:
💪🏾Physical Self-Care: Get active 3-4 times a week, eat whole foods, and ensure 7-9 hours of sleep nightly.
🧠❤️Mental and Emotional Self-Care: Start a simple meditation practice, spend time with loved ones, and journal your thoughts.
💰Financial Self-Care: Build an emergency fund, tackle debt with proven strategies, and develop a money philosophy that works for you and your family.
When you invest in these areas, you’re not just filling your own cup—you’re creating a ripple effect that benefits your entire family. You are healthier and have more energy to run alongside your children and possibly your grandchildren, you are mentally strong enough to be fully present without the weight of your personal worries ‘bleeding’ out all over your family, and your finances are in order giving you a clear view of a prosperous future.
Secret #2
The 3 R's
Who you have become today is largely due to your own interpretations of your past experiences. These past experiences shape your outlook on the world and affect your sense of hope and resiliency. It is important to know what you’ve been through, decide if you want to continue living your life according to that belief, and then support your decision. This is the cornerstone of the 3 R’s
R#1 – 🪞Reflect On Your Journey
Every dad has a story, shaped by triumphs and trials. Reflection allows you to gain clarity on how past experiences influence your present life.
Ask yourself:
- What key moments shaped who you are today?
- Are there unresolved issues from your past affecting your relationships?
- Do you still act according to an old belief?
- Reflection isn’t about criticism; it’s about awareness. And awareness is the first step toward growth.
R #2 – 🕊️Release What You Can’t Change
Sometimes, no amount of reflection can fix certain issues. That’s okay. The key is accepting what can’t be changed and freeing yourself from its mental, emotional, and physical grip.
A powerful exercise from the #DadFirst Guide is writing a letter to your younger self. This simple act can help you process pain and create space for the man you’re becoming.
Watch the video below of me writing a letter to myself, it was definitely eye opening and healing!
R#3 – 🧱Reinforce Your Growth
Growth requires boundaries—both setting them and keeping them strong.
The #DadFirst Guide teaches you how to:
- Protect your progress by aligning boundaries with your values.
- Strengthen healthy habits that support your goals.
- Surround yourself with a supportive culture of like-minded dads.
- Share your story to inspire others and hold yourself accountable.
Secret #3
Bonus Secret:
Consistently Check In With Yourself! ✅
Nothing above this section matters if you aren’t keeping track and checking in with yourself. The practices above are not singular practices but life long ones.
So it is important to check in with yourself as often as possible and since you made it this far I’ll give you the daily check in sheet I use just for getting this far.
*If you’ve Downloaded the guide then you already have this document
Click The Image Below⬇️
