Hey Fellow Dads,
A few years back, I had a moment that made me question how my kids really saw me. It happened on my birthday. Not just any birthday—Leap Day. Yep, February 29th. It’s one of those rare days that only comes around every four years, and honestly, for a long time, I dreaded it.
Every time it rolled around, I’d tell myself, This year will be different. I’ll enjoy it. I’ll celebrate. But when the day arrived, I’d shut down. I’d get moody, brush off any plans, and—if I’m being real—probably make the whole house tense. My family would try to celebrate me, and I’d push back, finding some excuse to downplay the day.
Ever been there? That feeling like you don’t deserve to be celebrated? Like you haven’t done enough yet? Or maybe, on the flip side, feeling like you should be celebrated more—like you’ve earned a grand gesture, but all you get is a dinner and a slice of cake?
That year, I did the same thing. My wife tried to plan something small, and I resisted. My kids made me cards, and I brushed them off with a half-hearted thanks. Then, my oldest son—who was maybe 12 or 13 at the time—looked at me and said, “Daddy Gerald, why do you do this every year? We’re just trying to show you we love you.”
That one hit differently.
Because the truth is, respect from your kids doesn’t always come in the ways you expect. It’s not just about discipline or how well they listen. It’s about whether they care enough to notice what affects you—whether they respect you enough to challenge you when you’re getting in your own way.
Looking back, I realized that was the moment I knew my kids respected me. Not because they obeyed every rule I laid down, but because they paid attention. They saw my habits, my moods, and my struggles. And instead of ignoring them, they called me on it. Respect isn’t just about obedience; it’s about engagement. It’s about them seeing you, the real you, and still wanting to celebrate you.
That birthday, I made a choice. I let them celebrate me. And you know what? It felt… good. Not because I suddenly loved my birthday, but because I saw what it meant to them.
As dads, we pour so much into our families, often without expecting anything in return. But when your kids insist on celebrating you, when they push past your walls because they want you to feel loved—that’s respect in its purest form.
So, next time your birthday, Father’s Day, or any other moment of recognition comes up, don’t fight it. Accept it. Because when your kids take time to acknowledge you, that’s not just celebration—it’s proof that you matter to them.
🍻Cheers to Raising Kids Who See You, Even When You Don’t See Yourself.
