👋🏾 Hey Fellow Dads,
Have you ever been on a road trip and you’re getting close to empty and need to pull over and fill up but you put it off for the ‘NEXT‘ gas station?
Now you’re desperately searching for a gas station before your car gives up on you! You probably thought, I’ll make it, even as you passed station after station with the amber gas light glowing in the dark like a warning siren. The possibility never crossed your mind that you wouldn’t make it to the ‘NEXT‘ one. Until the nearest gas station is 12 miles away, and the ‘Miles To Empty‘ section on your car’s dashboard isn’t even showing numbers anymore—just two dashes, –.
It is pretty evident that you waited too long.
We all know what happens next. Your car sputters, struggles, and then quits, leaving you walking to the nearest gas station, freezing cold, muttering about how avoidable this all was and how you should have just ‘FREAKING‘ stopped and got gas like your wife said. Worse, we know that running your car on empty can damage its internal parts, and let’s be real—repairs these days cost more than most of us can spare. We can barely afford eggs! 😉
That’s exactly how I was treating my body a few years ago—thinking I could make it til the next ‘stop’ but I didn’t.
Don’t Wait Til You Break Down
Even as a young father I’ve always prided myself on my ability to work hard and do ‘Anything‘ to provide for my family and I like many other dads put my head down and ‘GRINDED’ towards being that DAD my family needed me to be. It started in the Marine Corps, then working full time while going back to school and earning my associates, bachelors, and master’s degrees, and every other venture, business idea, or plan I’ve spent long days and long nights attempting to bring into existence all to take care of my wife and 4 kids.
But, Between all of the work, financial mishaps, and the constant pressures of wanting to be a Good Dad, I convinced myself that barely sleeping, relying on energy drinks to wake up, and alcohol to go to sleep were just the sacrifices a Good Dad had to make for my family. I was too busy Grinding for them to take care of myself.
In the back of my mind I knew it was only a matter of time before my body sputtered and eventually quit on me, but I thought I could make it to my destination before that happened and once I made it there I would finally have earned the right to take care of myself. And I was proud of that; it was the way every strong man I knew believed.
Then one day, my body began to sputter! Severe stomach pains landed me in the emergency room after a bowel movement made my toilet look like a scene out of First 48. A colonoscopy revealed polyps and fissures in my lower colon. Polyps are malignant tumors that can turn into cancer if unchecked and fissures are tears in the colon; and both are caused by poor nutrition habits.
My doctor, Dr. Davenport, after reviewing my health history and current habits didn’t mince words: “If you want to be a participant in your grandkids lives one day, you’ve got to start taking care of yourself.”
That moment changed everything!
Why Physical Self-Care Matters
This is why we’re talking about physical self-care—the “P” in the P.M.F. Self-Care Model. Society will have us dads believe that taking care of our body is about a vain appeal to our egos but it isn’t! It is much more important to what is really important being their for our families.
Physical self-care is one of the foundations of our health and well-being, and when you prioritize it, every other part of who you are as a Good Dad improves —How you show up as a father, How you take care of your marriage, and how you navigate personal progress in your work and personal life.
“Why would you want to hold the weight of your family on your shoulders knowing you could crumble at any time”?
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For centuries, a dad’s physical health was valued mainly as a tool—to fight wars, do hard labor, or provide for their families. Even as far back as ancient Greece, philosophers like Hippocrates encouraged balanced living, but that advice was mostly for the elite dads all other dads needed to either go back to work or fight in the army. This basic male importance has essentially carried us into the 21st century where dads are still viewed as only providers, protectors, and disciplinarians. But with more dads taking on more emotional actions of a loving father along with the desire to be actively present throughout the generations of your family, there is an even greater need to take care of our physical health.
The Benefits of Physical Self-Care
- Longevity: Healthy physical self care habits help protect you from the impacts of aging. Most importantly –> 🍆 (I mean what’s longevity if “IT” doesn’t work?).
- Energy & Resilience: A well-cared-for body gives you the stamina to tackle challenges and enjoy family time throughout the years.
- Stress Relief: A healthy body aides in reducing stress, helps to clear your mind, and helps you manage life’s pressures allowing you to have more mental capacity for the worries of 16 year old daughters.
- Positive Role Modeling: Your kids are always watching. By prioritizing your health, you’re teaching them to value theirs; which may actually be one of the most important reasons.
The Pillars Of Physical Self Care
- 🚶🏼♂️Activity: How much time is spent not sitting down or walking – Avoid sitting too much. Sitting for long periods can harm your health. Get on your feet—walk, stretch, or move throughout the day.
- 🏋🏾Fitness: The amount of physical exertion – Physical exertion strengthens your body and builds resilience. Activities like strength training, hiking, or even wrestling with your kids help.
- 🍽️Nutrition: Hydration and Nutrient consumption – What you eat is the fuel for your body. Focus on nutrient-dense foods, stay hydrated, and avoid too much sugar.
- 🛌Rest: How much you sleep and recover – Sleep is crucial for recovery. Ditch energy drinks and alcohol—your body needs real rest to repair itself.
Practical Tips to Get Started
The work necessary to improve your health does not have to be complicated. In fact, it SHOULD NOT be complicated at all. It just needs to be something you can consistently stick with that accomplishes 2 things necessary to be successful:
- The work is enough to make you feel accomplished
- The work is enough to earn you realistic results
One of my favorite tools to use that has these 2 aspects of success is The “Golf Score Method”. I learned this from Mark Halpern; a dietician friend during my health and wellness days who would rank his clients foods; good (3 points), better (2 points), or best (1 point). The goal? Get the lowest score possible! Simple right!
Start with your realistic goal as your Better -2pts, create a goal beneath your center goal as the minimum you can do to still feel accomplished as your Good – 3pts, and finally create a Kick Ass goal you can do but would have to put forth a concerted effort to accomplish as your Best – 1pt.
I will use our Pillars of Physical Self Care to provide an example of how this would look as well as some options on how you can tailor it to fit your style and needs.
The Pillars of Physical Self Care Goals using the “Golf Score Method”
1. 🚶🏼♂️Activity Goal – Par 14
- Better – 2pts (Main Goal Action) – Walk 10,000 Steps
- Best – 1pt (Action That requires effort but can be Accomplished) – Walk 15,000 steps
- Good – 3 (Action That Makes You Still Feel Accomplished)– Stand up once per hour for atleast 10 hours of the day (great for Football Sundays🏈)
2. 🏋🏾Fitness – Par 6
- Better – 2pts (Main Goal Action) – Go to gym and WOG (walk/jog) on treadmill for 60 minutes
- Best – 1pt (Action That requires effort but can be Accomplished) – Attend a strength training class at the gym
- Good – 3 (Action That Makes You Still Feel Accomplished)– Complete 50 squats, 25 pushups, and 1 minute of planks
3. 🍽️Nutrition – Par 21
- Better – 2pts (Main Goal Action) – Eat a meal that consists of no processed foods and no added sugars.
- Best – 1pt (Action That requires effort but can be Accomplished) – Eat a simple meal plan: 1 protein, 2 veggies, 1 healthy carb.
- Good – 3 (Action That Makes You Still Feel Accomplished)– Make the healthiest choice available
4. 🛌Rest: Par 14
- Better – 2pts (Main Goal Action) – Get 8 hours of sleep
- Best – 1pt (Action That requires effort but can be Accomplished) – Follow sleep routine prior to getting 8 hours of sleep
- Good – 3 (Action That Makes You Still Feel Accomplished)– Get at least 5 hours of sleep
Ways to tailor the Golf Score Method To You
Add more options: If you are a dad that needs variety then having more than 3 options with increasing and equally decreasing values work great. I find this to be better used if you need a wider variety of meals or you have a broader definition of what fitness looks like to you. *Pro Tip: Use an odd number and set your main goal and value as the middle number between good and best.
Increase or Decrease the PAR: If you are going on a family vacation going through your sleep routine and getting 8 hours of sleep may be impossible. So adjusting your score card to represent what success looks like depending on what your life is going to look like helps to keep you engaged and not feel defeated.
Create Challenges: You have to keep it interesting! Challenge yourself to improve your score week to week, to maintain your lowest score for as long as possible. The options are endless!
There is only 1 non-negotiable and that is getting your annual check up. It is so important because the information you find out about yourself will help guide your physical self care goals. Give yourself a point deduction for that one 😉
Remember physical self-care is about having the energy, resilience, and health to be the dad, husband, and man your family needs. Remember, it’s not selfish—it’s selfless to be the best version of yourself.
Start small. Whether your main goal is a 10-minute walk or just setting a bedtime, take one step today.
❤️ 🍻 Cheers to taking care of your body Good Dads!
