Hey, Fellow Dads,
Parenting is already a complex journey, but stepping into a blended family? That’s next-level stuff. You’re not just figuring out bedtime routines and discipline strategies—you’re navigating relationships with ex-spouses, co-parenting agreements, and a whole new dynamic that affects everyone involved.
I’ve been there.
I’ve been the ‘stepdad’ and the bio dad Which means I was also the baby father and the husband to someone else’s ex. Each role came with lessons, challenges, and moments of clarity that I hope will help you on your own journey.
*By Clarity I Mean Lessons Learned From Mistakes!!!
The Hard Truth About Blended Families
Statistics show that 60-70% of marriages involving children from previous relationships end in divorce. That’s a sobering number. But these families are not just numbers. And We don’t have to be another statistic.
What the research actually tells us is this: children in blended families thrive when they feel connected—not just to their biological parents, but to their ‘step’-parents, too. It’s not about who’s “real” or who has the title—it’s about love, stability, and commitment to making it work.
It took me a while to learn just how to provide that in my household and I made many many mistakes, Here are few I’ve learned along the way.
When Your ‘Step’child Reminds You of Their Bio Parent…
One of my biggest struggles early on was seeing traits of my son’s biological dad in him—traits I didn’t particularly like. I handled it the wrong way at first, trying to discipline those traits out of him. In my mind, I was shaping him into a better version of himself. In reality, I was punishing him for being like his father.
That was a hard pill to swallow.
I had to learn to build trust before correction—to accept who he was before guiding him to who he could become. The moment I knew we had turned a corner? When he stopped calling me by my first name and started calling me “Daddy Gerald.” He told me that calling me by my first name made him feel like he wasn’t fully part of our family. That was a milestone I’ll never forget.
Co-Parenting With the Ex: The Struggle Is Real
Let’s be honest—co-parenting with an ex can be brutal. There were times when I didn’t see eye to eye with my wife’s ex-husband. But no matter what, we had one thing in common: we both loved him. That meant setting aside our differences (as much as I could 😉) and focusing on what was best for him.
It wasn’t easy. There were moments when I wanted to say things I shouldn’t, moments when I had to protect a kid from the truth without lying to him. That’s a tough line to walk.
On the other hand, I’ve seen healthy co-parenting work beautifully. My daughter struggled for years with bouncing between two households, adjusting to different rules and expectations. But you know what made the biggest difference? Her stepfather didn’t try to replace me—he just showed up with love and support. That made all the difference for her, and as much as my ego wanted to resist it, I was grateful.
My Best Advice for Blended Families
If you take nothing else from this, hear me on this one:
How you treat your child’s other parent will define your co-parenting success.
I’ve made co-parenting way harder than it needed to be by refusing to work on the relationship with my child’s mother. And I’ve seen other men sabotage their own fatherhood journey by being petty, bitter, or uncooperative. The child is the one with the blended family—they didn’t choose this, but they have to live with it. Be patient with them. Be the stability they need.
Blended families are tough, but they’re also an opportunity to build something beautiful—a home where every child knows they are loved, supported, and accepted.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there. Connect with other dads, seek guidance when you need it, and keep showing up. You have what it takes to make this work.
🍻 Cheers to blending your family like a pro! (…Yes, I just compared your family to a smoothie. Go with it!)
