Hey, Fellow Dads
Being a family man has a way of pulling us in a thousand different directions. Between work, coaching little league, maintaining the romance and the expectations placed on us as men, it’s easy to look up one day and wonder—who am I outside of these roles?
I’ve been there. There was a time when I was so focused on being a provider and protector that I lost sight of the real me; the part that included things beyong being a provider and protector of my family. But I was running on autopilot, making decisions based on what I thought I should be doing instead of what aligned with who I truly was.
Then one day I came unglued. Ready to give it all up and walk away from it all. I had worked hard to be a good dad and husband but I wasn’t being good to myself.
In fact; I was mistreating my kids dad👨🏾!
I knew I had to do better and get in touch with the parts of me that I was leaving out of the equation.
Here’s what I found out on my journey: the best way to be a great dad, husband, and man is to show up as who we are completely, not leaving any aspect out. When we know who we are and live in alignment with that, we become more present, more fulfilled, and ultimately better leaders for our families with a lot less resentment and animosity.
So let’s break this down into a simple, actionable process because if there are no actions then it’s all talk.
- 1. Reflect on Who You Are – If we never pause to take stock of where we are, we can’t figure out where we’re going. Self-reflection isn’t a one-time thing; it’s an ongoing process. Start by asking yourself three simple questions at the end of each day: What did I do well today? What didn’t go as planned, and why? Did my actions align with my core values? Taking five minutes to answer these can lead to powerful insights. A great tool for this is The Five Minute Journal.
- 2. Use Journaling to Get Honest with Yourself – Journaling is like having a conversation with your future self. It helps untangle thoughts, recognize patterns, and give clarity to emotions. I used to think journaling was just for writers or people with too much time on their hands. But once I started, I realized how much clarity it gave me. Don’t overcomplicate it—just write down what’s on your mind, how you’re feeling, and what’s been bothering or inspiring you. Over time, you’ll start to see themes emerge that give you insight into who you truly are.
Read Article —> 6 Writing Prompts Every Dad Needs to Stay Focused, Present, and In Control
- 3. Own Your Strengths and Weaknesses – For a long time, I only wanted to focus on what I was good at. But ignoring weaknesses doesn’t make them go away—it makes them a liability. Grab a notebook and make two lists: one for your strengths, one for your weaknesses. Then, ask yourself: How do these show up in my daily life? Where do they help me, and where do they hold me back? Understanding both sides of yourself helps you make smarter decisions and set realistic goals for growth.
- 4. Allow Yourself to Feel Without Judgment – Many of men grew up hearing “man up” when things got tough. But here’s the truth: bottling up emotions doesn’t make us stronger—it makes us explode harder later in ways we don’t intend. Feeling joy, sadness, frustration, or excitement isn’t a weakness; it’s part of being human. The next time an emotion hits, pause. Name it. Accept it. This simple act can change the way you handle stress, parenting, and relationships.
- 5. Seek Honest Feedback – We all have blind spots. Sometimes we need a trusted friend, partner, or mentor to help us see what we can’t. Ask someone who knows you well: “What do you think are my strengths and weaknesses?” Their answer might surprise you, but it will give you valuable insight into how others experience you—and how you can improve. —> Join Club Good Dad
- 6. Align Your Actions with Your Values – Living authentically means making choices that reflect what you truly believe in—not just what’s expected of you. If family is your priority, does your daily schedule reflect that? If integrity matters, do your actions match your words? This takes intentional effort, but small shifts over time lead to a life that feels right instead of forced.
- 7. Take Care of Your Mental Health – You can’t pour from an empty cup. Checking in on your mental and emotional well-being is just as important as physical health. Whether it’s therapy, meditation, or simply talking to a trusted friend, find ways to support your mental fitness. There’s no shame in getting help—it’s one of the strongest things a man can do.
At the end of the day, becoming our best selves isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Every step we take toward living authentically helps us show up better for ourselves and our families.
🍻Cheers to showing up as the dad you were meant to be.
