Hey Fellow Dads,
I want to take you back to a road trip I took with my kids a while ago—one of those marathon, cross-country hauls that tests patience, endurance, and the ability to function on energy drinks and honeybuns.
It started in Las Vegas, with the first leg taking us all the way to Kansas, where my daughter had a college visit. She was considering joining their flag football team on scholarship, and as her dad, there was no way I was going to miss being there for her.
From there, we planned to head to a small town in Louisiana for my mom and my aunt’s birthday celebration—because in our family, birthdays aren’t just milestones; they are full-on festivals. Unfortunately, before we could continue, my children were involved in an ATV accident, cutting the trip short. But I’m sure you understand the massive undertaking of this trip.
Originally, the plan was to continue to my hometown in Texas for some legendary fried chicken and a reunion with my dad’s side of the family. Then a stop in New Mexico to see my wife’s side of the family. But that part of the journey never happened.
Thinking back on it now, I can still feel the range of emotions we all experienced racking up the mileage on that trip.
I Wondered If My Kids Considered My Efforts
I remember sitting in a hotel lobby in Denver, Colorado, completely drained after driving twelve hours straight on the first leg. I left the wife and kids in the room, laughing, making noise, snacking on whatever fruit we had left from the last pit stop, and just being kids.
But I was frustrated. I felt like they were being completely inconsiderate of the effort it took to make this trip happen. Didn’t they realize how little sleep I had? How many more hours of driving were ahead? How carefully I had planned our schedule to make it to each stop on time?
I had been working on not letting actions trigger emotions, but exhaustion made that difficult. In this moment, I felt like my kids needed to recognize everything I was doing for them and show more appreciation.
I went back to the room to find nothing but smiling faces and that’s when it hit me—they weren’t being disrespectful. They were comfortable.
So How DO You Know If Your Kids Respect You?
Respect from our kids doesn’t always show up in the ways we expect. It’s not just in the ‘yes, sir’ or the polite thank-yous. Sometimes, it’s in their ability to be fully themselves around us, knowing they are in a space where they feel safe. They weren’t worried about my reaction because they trusted me to be their steady presence. They knew I was tired, but they also knew I’d handle it. That’s what dads do. And let’s be real—what’s a family trip without FUN and ENJOYMENT!?
Too often, we mistake exhaustion for being unappreciated. We tally up the miles driven, the dollars spent, and the energy poured into making their lives better, and when we don’t get an immediate acknowledgment, we feel unseen. But respect isn’t just about getting a thank-you—it’s about the trust our kids have in us.
The fact that they don’t walk on eggshells about everything around me? That’s respect. The fact that when something goes wrong, I’m the first person they turn to? That’s respect. The fact that my daughter wanted me on this trip in the first place? That’s respect.
So if you ever feel like your kids don’t fully see all you do for them, pay attention to how they act around you. If they can be themselves, if they trust you to be their rock no matter how chaotic things get, you’ve already earned their respect in a way that truly matters. And respect is never a one-way street—you can’t earn it unless they genuinely feel it for you as well.
🍻 CHEERS to the kind of respect that’s built on trust, presence, and the kind of love that doesn’t need words to be understood.
