without forgetting the strong part
Hey Fellow Dads,
A while back, I was watching an old episode of Funky Fridays, Cam Newton’s podcast with guest Charleston White. A man who’s no stranger to controversy. He’s loud, unfiltered, and is an absolute culture troll. But every now and then, buried between his bulls**t, he drops something that makes you say hmmm🤔. And in that episode, he did just that.
Charleston White; in between the F bombs and N-words, started talking about the difference between raising children and training them. At first, it sounded like another controversial statement meant to go viral and gain notoriety, but as he broke it down, it made perfect sense.
He pointed out that many parents are doing an excellent job raising their kids—making sure they have food, a roof over their heads, nice clothes, and all the opportunities we may not have had growing up. But too often, those same kids aren’t being trained for life and turning them into kids who aren’t resilient and can’t make it on their own.
That distinction hit hard. Raising kids means keeping them safe, fed, and comfortable. But training? That’s about preparing them for the real world—helping them develop the discipline, resilience, and skills they’ll need when life stops being easy.
And as I listened, I started thinking about what training my own kids looked like and how I could do it without becoming a dictator. The show reminded me of another lesson I once heard from a pastor on TikTok: A father who is only strong isn’t a good dad, and a father who is only nurturing isn’t a good dad either.
Charleston and Cam were having the same conversation, just in a different way.
The Balance of Strength and Nurture
In today’s world, there’s been a huge push for dads to be more emotionally available. We’re encouraged to be softer, more understanding, and more engaged. That’s a great shift. Our kids need fathers who listen, support, and make them feel safe.
But as Charleston pointed out, we can’t stop there. Being emotionally present is just one piece of the puzzle. Kids also need structure. They need to be challenged. They need guidance that isn’t always wrapped in a warm hug.
That’s what training is!
If we only focus on raising them—keeping them comfortable—we run the risk of sending them into the world unprepared. If we only focus on training—constantly pushing them—we might miss out on building the connection they need to feel safe enough to grow.
Both are necessary.
Personal Example: From The Basketball Court
Charleston’s words got me thinking about my youngest son’s journey with basketball. Let me be real—he’s no LeBron James. On some days, his game is solid. Other days, it’s more like a blooper reel. But sports, like life, are about the process.
Before every practice or game, I tell him to give it his best effort. I make sure he knows that I’m proud of him no matter what. But once that game starts? I’m locked in. I see the good plays, the mistakes, the missed opportunities. And when it’s over, we talk.
I don’t just shower him with praise for showing up. I don’t just break him down with critique. I do both. Encouragement when he needs it. Honest feedback when he needs it. Some finger waves and “What were you thinking?!” moments when they’re deserved. Because in the end, my job isn’t to make him comfortable—it’s to make him capable.
That’s training.
Why Training Matters in Fatherhood
if we don’t train our kids, life will. And life is a much harsher teacher than we are.
When we train our kids, we’re not just teaching them skills—we’re shaping their mindset. We’re instilling discipline, work ethic, setting expectations, and leading by example.
A child who never learns accountability at home will struggle when the world holds him accountable.
A child who never faces adversity under his father’s guidance may crumble the first time real adversity shows up.
Jordan Peterson said it well: “A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has it under voluntary control.” and that is what we are teaching our children.
That doesn’t mean we’re training our kids to be aggressive or reckless. It means we’re teaching them to be strong, disciplined, and controlled. We’re helping them understand that true strength isn’t about dominance—it’s about being steady, reliable, and principled.
Fatherhood is a Daily Decision
Every day, we have a choice. We can just raise our kids—keep them fed, housed, and entertained. Or we can train them—help them develop the skills, habits, and mindset they need to thrive.
The best dads do both.
So, fellow good dads, let’s be present. Let’s be both strong and nurturing. Let’s raise our kids and train them for the life ahead.
Because at the end of the day, our children won’t just remember how we made them feel. They’ll remember what we taught them, how we challenged them, and how we prepared them to stand on their own.
🍻 Cheers to Training Kids Who Are Ready for Life.
