When it comes to being a dad, self-care can often feel like a luxury. Yet, as we juggle responsibilities to our families, jobs, and communities, the need for self-care becomes essential. It is my personal belief that if you want to ‘prime‘ yourself to tackle other issues in your life such as your relationship with your significant other, improving as a father, and becoming a more present and happy person then a self care plan is going to aide in that.
For us dads there are 3 major areas of our personal self care that are important; how you care for your body, how you care for mind and heart, and how you care for your money. I call these 3 areas collectively the P.M.F. Self-Care Model—a framework designed to keep dads grounded and equipped to handle the demands of fatherhood. P.M.F. stands for Physical, Mental and Emotional, and Financial Self-Care, three pillars that work together to create a balanced and resilient life.
*In this post, we’ll explore why each part of this model is vital to us dads, how to put it into practice, and offer a simple checklist to ensure you’re on track.
As fathers, husbands, and men, we wear many hats, each with its unique pressures. While we might prioritize our families’ needs, neglecting our own well-being can lead to burnout, stress, and weakened relationships. Embracing one of the #DadFirst principles—“to be a good dad and spouse, you have to be a good self”—self-care becomes not just a personal choice but a responsibility.
The P.M.F. model gives us a framework to ensure we are taking care of the areas that when not can cause the greatest issues in our lives so we can be there for our loved ones.
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Breaking Down the P.M.F. Self-Care Model
1. Physical Self-Care
Physical self-care is the foundation of overall health. It’s about more than just staying fit; it’s about having the energy and stamina to handle daily demands; as well as staying on top of your health throughout your life to ensure you are proactive instead of reactive. As a dad, this means finding ways to prioritize healthier habits and staying on top of annual and age specific check ups.
Practical Tips for Physical Self-Care:
- Start Small with Exercise: Rather than aiming for long workouts, try 15-20 minutes of movement each day. It could be a quick walk, some sporadic squats throughout the day, or even shooting hoops with your kids.
- Schedule an Annual Doctor’s Visit in the next 12 months: Dads hate the doctors but trust me if you go once a year it will ensure you stay ahead of your health and not need extended hospital stays or multiple visits. Ensure you are getting your base numbers for your health each year; biometrics, cholesterol, blood glucose, nutrient panel, blood pressure, and even hormones.
- Address the Basics: The 2 areas you can instantly change today to improve your health is to increase your water and sleep. For water increase your water by 2-3 ounces a week until you get to half your body weight in ounces daily as your minimum. Take a similar approach to sleep, find 5-10 minutes to add to sleep adding more each week until you get to 8-9 hours of sleep per night.
2. Mental & Emotional Self-Care
Mental and emotional self-care is often overlooked but is essential for stress management, building resilience, and healing. Taking time to process thoughts, emotions, and challenges can help dads remain calm, empathetic, and available for your family and community. It is extremely difficult to show up for others when your heart and mind are in distress.
Practical Tips for Mental & Emotional Self-Care:
- Daily Reflection: Spend 10 minutes each morning or night reflecting on the day. Journaling can help you offload worries and gain perspective.
- Practice Mindfulness or Meditation: Try to spend a few minutes each day simply focusing on your breathing or being present in the moment. Apps like Headspace or Calm make this accessible and easy to integrate into a busy schedule.
- Connect with a Support Group: Find a community that understands your journey, such as the Good Dads Club. Connecting with other dads who are on similar paths offers camaraderie and fresh perspectives, but most importantly support.
3. Financial Self-Care
Financial health can impact nearly every aspect of our lives, from the quality of our relationships to our daily stress levels. Financial self-care involves creating stability, setting goals, and taking small steps toward financial freedom. This may be one of the most important aspects of self-care for dads because let’s be honest; “if our money isn’t right then we aren’t right”!
Practical Tips for Financial Self-Care:
- Budgeting Basics: Create a monthly budget that accounts for all essential expenses and sets aside savings. The goal is to build a budget that reflects both your short-term needs and long-term goals.
- Build an Emergency Fund: Setting aside even a small amount each month for emergencies can provide peace of mind. This way, unexpected expenses don’t derail your financial goals.
- Plan for the Future: Whether it’s saving for your children’s education, a family vacation, or eventual retirement, setting small, achievable goals helps ensure that you’re building a secure future.
*Bonus: Before we begin to create these financial systems for our lives we have to have a positive cash flow. Meaning you make more money than you spend. Regardless if you need to first work on reducing your debt footprint, increase your skillset to create more opportunities, work extra shifts, or start a side hustle. These plans don’t work unless you have positive cashflow.
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Implementing the P.M.F. Self-Care Model
To make these three pillars work together, it’s helpful to set a few specific and achievable rules to help you. Here are some examples:
- Weekly Exercise Goal: Aim for at least three 20-minute workouts.
- Daily Reflection: Write a journal entry, even if it’s just a couple of sentences, about your day.
- Monthly Financial Review: Sit down at the end of each month to assess your budget, savings progress, and any adjustments you need.
These small, regular actions can create momentum. Consistency is key, and over time, these efforts compound into meaningful improvements in your life.
Self-Care Checklist
Inside the #DadFirst Guide Is a checklist to help you ensure you’re tending to various aspects of your P.M.F. self-care. Use this checklist as a personal audit once a week to keep yourself on track: The goal is to add things to your checklist to ensure you are doing the daily things that lead to accomplishing your goals.
P.M.F. Self-Care Example Goals
Physical Self-Care
- Exercised at least 120 minutes this week (e.g., jogging, strength exercises, sports with the kids).
- Eat 1 serving of vegetables with at least 5 meals this week
- Track my nightly sleep to get a baseline of how much you normally sleep.
Mental & Emotional Self-Care
- Spent 10 minutes reflecting or journaling about my day.
- Practiced mindfulness or meditation for at least 3 days this week.
- Connected with a supportive group or community 1 time this week (like Good Dads Club😉).
Financial Self-Care
- Scheduled a weekly financial review to ensure you are on the right path.
- Saved a set amount toward my emergency fund or financial goals.
- Planned for at least one long-term financial goal (education fund, vacation savings, retirement).
The checklist within the P.M.F. Self Care model is a tool you can return to regularly. Over time, these practices become habits, helping you become a more balanced and resilient dad.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. By following the P.M.F. Self-Care Model, you’re setting an example for your family, showing them the importance of resilience, balance, and personal growth. Remember, the better you feel, the better you can show up for the people who depend on you.
To take your self-care journey to the next level, download our #DadFirst Guide, which provides practical steps, resources, and tools to help you be the best dad, husband, and man you can be by taking care of the man that you are.
🍻Cheers To Taking Care Of Yourself Better!
